The Search For The Lost Albino
by Breathe From Your Hoo Hoo
Summary: Roger has just been seperated from his secret lover Mark, after Mark dumped his girlfriend Glinda. Will they ever find each other? Sequel to Far far Away.
1. The Nose

**THE SEARCH FOR THE LOST ALBINO**

**Hello, everyone!! This is the sequel to my story "Far Far Away". This plotline was conceived when the demented ideas of hippy.intellect and myself got together and made hot, steamy love in a bed of fan fiction, haikus, RENT and finger sandwiches and henceforth, gave birth to this story in 9 minutes, about Mark and Roger and the painful separation they have to endure before they can finally see each other again. Co-starring all your favourite characters from the prequel. **

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Once upon a time, in a magical land called Far Far Away – yes, the same Far Far Away as featured in the story's prequel _Far Far Away_ – there sat a sad, angsty, depressed rock star by the name of Roger Davis, who was sitting on the ancient couch of his loft, clutching a pink cushion and crying endlessly. Well technically, he was crying because his secret lover Mark was zapped to Morocco by Benny, the Witch of Cyberland, but come on!! When is he ever _not_ sad, angsty or depressed?? It's almost like it's programmed into his DNA or something. Anyway, Roger clutched tightly onto this cushion for no particular reason, even though it had no connection to Mark whatsoever. Frodo Baggins, who now shared the loft with Roger and was paying his share of the rent in gold coins and slave girls, looked sadly at Roger from the kitchen. 

"Oh my fair Roger," he said wistfully. "What is it that ails you?"

Roger looked at him with teary eyes. "I miss my Marky!!!!" he wiped his eyes furiously. "And since when did you start speaking normal English sentences?" he said, blinking.

Frodo smiled. "When Benny waved his magic wand and sent Mark to Morocco, one of the sparks flew down my throat and cured me of my boring Lord of the Rings speech. Here, I made you some magical peanut buttered tea," he said, bringing Roger a cup filled with something that looked like liquid baby poop. Roger looked at it curiously, then picked it up and sipped it. It tasted surprisingly good.

Unfortunately, Roger was allergic to peanuts.

And he didn't realise it until suddenly, his nose grew so long so quickly that it knocked the tea cup out of his hand. Roger shrieked and tried to clamp his hands over his nose to stop it growing, but alas, it was no use. His nose grew and grew until it became as long as an elephant trunk. Roger sighed.

"Oh, how am I going to find Mark again with this ugly nose that looks like a hose!!" he wailed.

"Hey, that rhymes!!" said Rob, who suddenly walked into the living room, looking like a proper rubber chicken this time.

"Shut up, Rob!!" yelled Roger through his angry tears. "That's not important!! Frodo, I need you to do whatever magic you can to get rid of this nose and then I want you to help me pick out a gorgeous top that'll go with my new orange plaid pants. Got that?"

Frodo suddenly looked up at Roger and he and Rob were playing jump rope with Roger's elephant nose. "What?? Oh yes yes, of course," he added hastily.

"And then," Roger sniffled through his tears. "I shall choose a new spot, upon the window sill, to sit and continue crying about my Marky."

Frodo and Rob looked at him sadly, and then looked at each other sadly. Then Rob suddenly said, "Hey, guess what?? Glinda and Anthony Rapp called us this morning and asked us if we'd like to have dinner with them this evening!! And I said yes! How about it, Roger? I'm sure a nice evening out would make you feel better."

Roger looked at Rob, and then looked down at his nose. "Oh, I'm sure they won't mind," said Rob reassuringly. "Glinda might even have some magical sock puppet powder to help take away that elongated nose."

The depressed, ansgty rock star sighed. "Okay fine. We'll go," he relented. He then got up, went into his room, and slammed the door behind him, probably to go mourn some more. Frodo, Rob and Jeff (who had magically dropped from the ceiling after fixing the lightbulb) all looked at his door, then looked at each other and started giggling.

"I wonder if the enormous length of his nose was taken from his johnson," said Jeff evilly.

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Love it? Hate it? Please use le button on the bottom of le screen and let me know……Hippy, that means **you!!**

Oh hey, I bought the OBC recording of Rent and wow, it sounds really amazing!!! I love hearing all the stuff that wasn't in the movie and I loved hearing Anthony Rapp's voice sounding so young and pretty. He's still young and pretty though. _-winks-_


	2. Mark Leaves A Clue

"C'mon Roger, just stay still!! It's not gonna hurt if you just stay still!"

Roger whined like a kid. "But Glinda!! You _know_ I hate needles!!"

"Of course, that's why you spent so many years shooting yourself up with pixie-stix powder," huffed Glinda. She injected Roger in the nose with some pink, glittery liquid, then removed the needle and patched the wound with a little piece of cotton candy. Roger, Jeff and Rob looked at it with fascination.

"No, Roger. Don't even try. That's for your wound," Glinda warned. She packed up her little magical First-Aid kit, and went to the kitchen to look after the chocolate pot-roast. Suddenly, Anthony came out of the bathroom dressed in the same polka-dotted suit from the prequel _Far Far Away_ (Please go read it, it's a real hoot!!).

"Hello everyone!! How do you like our wonderful new two-storey Spanish colonial??" he asked in that same annoying, crazy, crack-addicted voice. Roger, Jeff, Frodo and Rob all rolled their eyes.

"Yes, it's lovely," said Jeff, playing with the bulb in the table lamp, even though he could get fried just like his evil, deceased twin brother Jordan. Roger, Frodo and Rob also agreed.

"Okay!! Dinner's ready folks!!!" said Glinda cheerily. Out of the kitchen she came, dressed in a pink apron, carrying a giant pot of chocolate pot-roast. Anthony helped her carry the slug salad and roast toadstools to the table.

"Ohh Yummy!!" said Roger, excitedly eyeing the unusual meal on the table. His friends all took their places at the table and enjoyed the meal too. The rest of the meal was spent in small, pleasurable chatter.

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At the end of dinner, Roger was very pleased to find out that his nose was back to its normal size. But the problem was, it was now brown in colour. Roger shrugged. At least it was a normal size again. Just as Glinda and Anthony cleared the dishes from the table, Roger suddenly noticed a little crushed piece of paper falling out of Glinda's pocket and landing on the floor. _I wonder what that is_, he thought. He first made sure that Glinda and Anthony were distracted with their heavy makeout session in the kitchen, then hid in the bathroom while Rob, Frodo and Jeff ass sat on the couches with their pants open (even though potatoes can't really wear pants). He opened up the paper and suddenly, his heart swelled with joy when he read what was on it.

"Oh thank God!! I have some a clue!! At last!! Some hope of finding Mark!!" he whispered to himself. He read the note again. It read:

**My darling Roger,**

**My heart yearns for that sweet day,**

**When you will find me.**

**-Love, Your Mark**

His heart pounded heavily in his chest, his tail wagged non-stop with joy and his hair stood on its ends in anticipation of how he was going to begin his search for his secret lover. Suddenly he heard a knock on the door, followed by a voice which said:

"Open up!! This is the FFABI!!"

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There guys!! Sorry this chapter is so short and not funny. I promise the next one will be better. 


	3. Roger Packs

Sorry guys, I haven't updated in a while!! I've actually been having a FF overload, and then my computer was dead for three weeks. Stupid, evil, man-eating sock puppets ate it up. But it's ok, it's back from the dead now, so ON WITH THE STORY!!!!

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Roger froze in fear as he crouched near the sink, clutching the note tightly in his hands. He shoved the note into his pocket and mumbled, "Umm, wh-wh-what's g-g-g-going o-o-on???"

There was another loud knock on the door. "I said, OPEN UP!! This is the FFABI!!" (For those of you wondering, that's the Far Far Away Bagel Inspector)

"But I don't have any stale, rotten or skunk-flavoured bagels!! I swear!! You must have the wrong person!!" Roger wailed as his whole form shook and tears streamed down his eyes.

"OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!!"

Still trembling and now with his pants wet, Roger slowly turned the knob and opened the bathroom door. To his anger and relief, there stood Anthony with a bullhorn in his hand, lying on his back and laughing uproariously along with Glinda, Frodo, Rob and Jeff.

"You guys!!" he chortled, a slow smile spreading across his face. "That wasn't funny at all!!" But he started laughing anyway.

"Then why did you start laughing anyway?" asked Rob through his laughter.

"Coz this stupid author made me!!" giggled the rock star.

And so they laughed and laughed for some more time until the four Bohemians decided it was late and so they all said their goodbyes and went home. (except for Glinda and Anthony, who didn't have to go home coz they were already home, so they went to the bedroom instead to do you-know-what. -_winks dirtily-_)

When they got home to the loft, Roger sat down on the couch and read the note again. He tried his best to find some indication of where Mark might be, but he found nothing. Jeff sat down next to him and said, "Hey Rog. What you looking' at?"

"Oh, this haiku that Mark wrote for me," said Roger quietly.

Jeff's eyebrows suddenly flew up (though I'm not sure if potatoes have eyebrows). "Hey, how did you get that?!!? I told Glinda to keep it in - !!" he suddenly stopped talking once he realized what he said.

Roger narrowed his eyes, his glare angry enough to roast a potato. Unfortunately, Jeff _was_ a potato. "How do you know about this, Jeff?"

Jeff trembled under his friends gaze. "I, uh………Mark sent it to me. I was too afraid to let you see it so I gave it to Glinda. But I guess fate sent it to you," he said with a sigh.

"I want to know where Mark is and I am gonna go search for him," said the rock star as he touched up his lipstick.

"Ok then. Do you want us to some with you?" asked Jeff.

Roger reapplied his eye shadow. "No, Jeff. This is something I have to do on my own. Thank you though." He then got up from the couch, went to his bedroom and started packing his things: clean clothes, clean underwear, money, food and a leather whip for his Marky. He was just about to go to bed when he heard loud moans coming from Frodo's bedroom, followed by a voice that said, "Oh Rob!!! Oh Yes!! Harder, harder, harder!! Ohh, you're great!! Oh Yes!! HARDER!!!"

Roger froze, his jaw hanging wide open. What was going on between Frodo and Rob??

* * *

Ohh, what have we here?? A secret affair?? 


End file.
